Holding on to the bamboo sticks while extending the other to wave a goodbye. The glaze in their eyes seem unbounded.
Walking down the road, I feel the gaze following our steps. Those steps which they know will never return. The peek a boo ends here. Yes, we’d gone to understand their plight, be a part of their world. But soon we’ll get back to our daily chores and all that’ll be left is a memory. While they keep longing for us to come back we shamelessly continue with our so called busy schedule.
She extends her hand out and they pull theirs back in. She steps out of her comfort zone and they blissfully complain about her efforts. She tries to make everyone happy and they surely point out the the flaws in their borrowed happiness.
Well, that’s how it works. Welcome to reality.
It goes on.
The chaos is painful.
And yet the silence hurts.
All of them are glued to their gadgets.
And that’s how they spend their days when they get home.
P.S. This is a small attempt to get back on my blog regulary. If you liked this one then keep an eye out for the next ones! 🙂
Sitting in front of the street lamp trying to find leftover to eat. His life had become worse than a nomad’s. No possessions. No one to return to. And no incentive to see the next dawn. But life wouldn’t let him go so easy. He had forgotten when he’d taken his last meal let alone a wholesome one. He started walking towards the end of the street. The dark street opening up to the main road and yellow street light hurting his dull eyes. The uneven ground and loose pebbles hurting his bare feet leaving him disbalanced. Cars were rushing by ignoring this petite frame. If he would have gotten hit, no one would even come to look for his leftovers. Gathering all his strength he reached a road side stall. He sneaked behind the stall and picked up something to eat from the dumped food until he was shooed away by the shop owner by hurling abuses at him.
A few feet away was a child crying in his mother’s lap for food while the mother laid her hands open for him to give her something. But he just walked past them. Limping and stumbling he came across a secluded hideout where he made himself comfortable. Soon after he was accompanied by rats who came out of their abode smelling the food. One of them climbed up his shoulder, one reached up to his lap to taste the food while others shuffled beside him to reach the treasure. Content with his companions he shared his food even though he was starving because they were the only ones he had left.
And she smiled, remembering old days when she knew how to smile. It wasn’t
that someone broke up with her or she had a fight with her friend, but
something was odd about this world. She was no less than an alien in the
new chapter which started. The rules of the game were out of her
understanding. Chaos all around, humans all around but it was still as
silent as a cave. No one to hear you apart from your own voice. She’d never
known this existence existed, until
It was all lighted up, seemed like the best setting, the perfect setting. It seemed unreal. But yet experiencing the warmth and joy felt surreal. Days passed, months passed. And slowly the colours started changing. The colour palette started shifting to the dark shades. The welcome was no more warm, it seemed compelled. It was different. The smile felt fake. It didn’t feel whole hearted. But yet months passed, in the confusion and hope that something better will happen. The place which was full of such happy people had now turned into a morose kingdom, of whom everyone thought they were emperor. Times have changed. People have changed. I have changed. But there’s no one who’s going to be the best companion in this journey except me. The dark end of the tunnel is nearing and the sparkle in my eyes are growing dull. But hopefully the zeal to live won’t die down and soon enough I’ll find reason and passion again.
She woke up in the morning. Her head throbbing because of the last night ramblings. She had a really bad fight with her hubby. And it all came rushing back to her. So she turned around to check up on him, but the other side was empty. He had been gone a long time; the bed was cold on his side. Of late the fights were increasing but she dismissed it as a sign of work pressure. But looks like they were not just fights. They were fights which hurt his ego. It hurt him to accept the fact that his wife could get a promotion earlier than him, it hurt him to think that he use to earn less than her, it hurt him to know that she was better than him. It used to hurt her to know that after a tiring day at work she had to come home to a place where she had it do the work for both of them because he considered it beneath him to do the household work. And well, I don’t blame him for thinking so, because boys are bought up being preached that it’s not their work to do. It was taking a toll on her. And the way he treated her yesterday, broke her inner strength. It all ended in vain for her. She was shattered. She tried picking up the pieces but they refused to fuse together to make her complete, instead they just became more brittle. The more she tried the more she thought was out of her reach. So she stopped. She ceased to exist.
The story written above is probably the story of a majority of Indian woman who under the pressure of society and the non compatibility of their marriage feel that they have let themselves down. The society looks down upon females who stand for their own rights. And at the end it takes a toll on them. So, if you are a well educated female or an illiterate one, it s a dear request to not end your beautiful life because you could not live up to someone’s expectations.
Life has taught me many a things and one thing which is certain is that life does not work according to our plans! It definitely doesn’t. But what it does is that it chooses what’s best for you. That’s what it is.
You must be thinking as to why did I write the first paragraph. So here’s the reason- Since the time I was in school I was sure that I’m not going to go out of the city for my college years and all my friends were determined to do the opposite. But as of today I’m the only one among my friends to go out of the city for my college.
Today is the D-day. Today is it. Today I’m leaving this city. Today I’m starting a new chapter in my beautiful life. Today is all that is. 🙂
And looking back at my journey, I cherish every single moment I can remember(even though I can’t remember a lot of them. :’) ). And what I cherish the most is past 10 days of my life. It has been a roller coaster. My family, relatives, friends have made a hell of a difference. They all have contributed in ways I can’t even imagine.
They have given me reasons to believe in myself. These days have taught me how lucky I am to know such pure hearted people in my life. They have given me more than I deserve! And I’m willing to pay them back by making them proud!
If it hadn’t been for all of you who participated in these different events, I wouldn’t have the courage to stand up and make myself strong enough to face what’s next.
So here’s a little dedication-
The time has come,
For me to leave behind my cocoon.
The time has come,
For me to leave the warmth of my loved ones.
The time has come,
For me to prune my wings and fly.
The time has come,
And I have chosen.
That's my new campus! 😀
That's a flex my sister created.
Sorry, but I forgot to click pictures of the gifts because I was busy admiring them! :p
Continued from here…
She would repeat the incident in her head over and over again. Trying to think of ways she could change it. But she couldn’t. It was done. It was past. There was no way she could bring back her family. Three months back while driving her black sedan with her husband on the side seat and the kids in the back seat she rammed into a truck coming from the other side while driving on the wrong side. She pressed the horn, shouted out to the driver, tried to swerve and get away but nothing happened. Her car crashed into the truck and all what was left was smoke and blood all around. She didn’t know what to do next! Her car upturned, her kids screaming in pain, her husband lying unconscious and she was too shocked to speak. And she could do nothing but wait. Wait for help. But none came. Finally after what felt like ages, she found the strength to free herself from the seat belt and tried to get out. After finding a stand on the ground she tried to absorb the havoc around her. In her mind she knew that, that was it. That her family wouldn’t be able to survive it. Their injuries were too deep and their blood loss too much. But her heart refused to believe it.
She had been one of the top doctors of the country, but the irony was that she couldn’t help the ones, who needed her skills the most. She had dealt with hundreds of patients, but she couldn’t deal with her three family members now. She couldn’t save them. She had to watch them groan in pain right in front of her eyes. And all she could do was wait. Wait till they exhale the last breath of stale air.
She walked alone in the wee hours of the night. For she feared someone may recognize her during the day. This practice had been going on since the past three months. She had abandoned her loved ones for she feared she could not hurt them anymore. She had been living a nocturnal life since it happened. She had tried her level best to maintain a low profile until the fear passed. She used to get out of her home, visit the 24X7 supermarket down the street and fetch her home supplies. Once back home she would double lock the door, the safety alarm back on and limit herself to the farthest corner of her house. She had tinted the windows and locked them so that no one could see inside the apartment. She sat there in the corner, looking at the magnificent white blob in the sky. Three months back, she would not have even envisaged the turn of events. But as of now, all of it had happened. She was well settled in her job, loving every moment of her trade, coming back to a wholesome family with two kids and a devoted husband. Ignoring the fleeting memories she tried to concentrate reading a book in the dim light; as that was the only solace she had during the hours she was awake. She was trying to erase all the memories of the event but all of her efforts resulted in vain. She cursed herself every time she thought about it. It wasn’t like it was her fault, but she felt like if she had been more careful she would be able to protect herself. She would be able to protect her soul. But now all she could do was look back at the possibilities because there was no way she could change what had already happened.
To Be Continued...
With Love –